The Freckled Diaries

Apartment Hunt (Again)

So I'm not for sure moving. But I did just find out that there were two more break-ins off our communal back alley/parking area. I kind of had a wee nervous breakdown about this at work on Tuesday (where I'd made the mistake of checking www.crimereports.com). Lots of tears, had to escape through the conference room (in which the Head Librarian was having a meeting), and make my way from Russell to Hart to see the Employee Assistance Program people) when a vote had been called. Which means that like the whole world was going to the Capitol--the other direction as me. So my mascara-stained blotchy red face and I made our way past all the Poobahs in the very crowded hallways with everyone staring at me (a certain former Vice Presidential candidate not only noticed the tears but stopped and looked like he was going to say something but didn't--it was obvious that I was in no mood for talking).

So that was a bad day. I had Wednesday off anyway (new work schedule to accommodate school) which is good for many reasons--but mainly because I would up getting extremely ill (I think it's swine flu, but it's probably not) Tuesday afternoon, and because I had time to go see apartments. I only went to one building but they had three available apartments.  It's not far from where I am now, but it's on Patrick Street which is less-than-quaint and quite busy and noisy on the traffic front. The property manager seemed to welcome the *idea* of helping me secure a place to keep the bikes but the reality of the situation looks kind of grim. And, truth be told, even without the less-than-desirable location, I wasn't wild about the apartments, and each of them is about $200/month more in rent than I think they're worth (if my opinion matters at all). They're just not as cute as mine is, and mine is less cute than the one I had before. So, with this non-cute trajectory, I may as well pack it in and move back to the Meridian. So this is probably a no-go. But I like looking at apartments, and I'm guessing that some people do as well, so here's the video (don't mind my funky voice, I'm sick).

Oh, and it's been called to my attention in the recent past that I've kind of stopped indexing (err, "tagging" for the non-librarians) my posts. Bad librarian, bad. I'll start back up again. With this post, even, and address all the old entries one boring day.

Schadenfreude

Or, I still check rental listings just to assure myself that I have, in fact, made a good decision.  Oh, and part of me like to gawk at the terrible deals.

This one stood out:

$1795 Rennovated Effic./Furnished parking/2 blocks to Potomac (Old Town Alexandria)
And the link will go dead eventually so I'll copy and paste the text.

Furnished rental with one assigned garage parking space. This Unit is fully renovated, marble bathroom, huge walk in closet and granite and stainless kitchen and flat screen TV. Partial water view. Available now, Short-term leases considered. Dogs considered on a case-by-case basis. Secure building. Price Change offered at $1,599per month, or with an option of $100 more with cable included.

Then it gives details as to who to contact, a licensed realtor (and you can so tell with that pricing scheme, end with "99" to make it mentally lower, offer two choices of "deals" and then give the impression of a markdown), at a mac.com address. Also I really really hate that spell check tried to force me to capitalize "realtor", when even the realtor didn't.  Which actually makes me think that she's not a Realtor"®" but a real estate agent because Realtors® can be kind of....well, I don't want to offend.  Mind, this is coming from someone who has had the occasion to have sit-downs with reps from the National Association of Realtors® on their lobby day and not only was this whole name debacle brought up but they are kind of pushy.

Anyway, to begin with the pricing doesn't make any sense.  Is it $1795, $1599 or $1699?  Either way, the salient detail is that they are asking somewhere between $1600-$1800 for an efficiency.  And it sounds great being in Old Town and on the river and all but that just so happens to be the part of town that's kind of between the Metro bus place (where they park them at night) and a coal fired power plant.  

But still....regardless....almost $1800 for a freaking studio?  It's been a long time since I've checked out Manhattan prices but something tells me we're in that realm now.  I'll go check.  Yep, here's $1650 for a studio on the Upper East Side (no address) and just to make sure that that Upper East Side isn't waaaaay upper aka Harlem (which apparently is pretty nice these days) here's...$1500 for a studio in Murray Hill (near Grand Central).  All that was no-effort, too.

Anyway, enough ranting.  I can't imagine someone taking that apartment.  I can't imagine why it's listed so high (well, sadly, I can and my imagination is taking me to "housing crisis").  This one, while a Very Bad Deal, does not somehow make me feel that I've got a Good Deal...it just confuses me.

Moving up!

It is official (enough)!

I have a place to live.  And not to put down my lovely wonderful apartment that I love oh so much, but I think that this is actually a step up.

Right now I'm in a one bedroom plus a den on the 4th floor of an old townhouse (200+ years).  This place is a one bedroom plus a den on the ground floor of an old townhouse (100+ years).  Difference is that the den at the new place can be used as a bedroom because there is access to the bathroom without entering the other bedroom (which is the situation here).  There is also private use of the backyard (mostly a bricked patio but some places for planting things) and a PRIVATE PARKING SPACE (a huge coup in Old Town) included.  I have none of that here.

Hardwood floors, functional fireplace (the one here is "functional" but I don't think the chimney has been swept since the Eisenhower administration and I didn't want to burn the place down), exposed brick on one wall (like my Northampton apartment), a cute tiny kitchen (bigger than here though) with an appropriately sized fridge (big pet peeve of mine ginormous fridges in tiny spaces).

All this at only $50 more per month than the green carpeted one bedroom on a super-busy intersection.  And again, because the layout makes it share-able (which it will be in some way or another...that's a whole other issue), the costs would actually be significantly lower than the other place or my current apartment.

The landlady seems very friendly (my current property manager is anything but, and I got that impression from her from before I even met her in person), flexible and really easy going.  She loves that I have cats and is really excited to see what I do with the back yard (she was so happy when I asked if I was allowed to plant things).  It just couldn't be a better situation if I'd dreamed it up.

Only "negatives" are that it's not cottage-cozy-cute like this place (I think it's the attic that makes it feel that way here) but it's still warm and inviting and great.  Also, laundry.  The laundry bites me every time.  There is no washer/dryer in the building.  That doesn't make any difference in my life though because I think I have been down to scary scary basement all of 10 times in 3 years, preferring instead to go to a laundromat or, more recently, do it by hand.  That being said, there IS a washer/dryer in another building she owns about 100 yards away and we have access to that.  She also said (when I told her I do much of my laundry by hand) that I can hang a wash line in the yard if I like.  Yay! 

Final negative is that it's not this exact neighborhood--same street but 6 blocks away and on the other side of one of those "mental divide" streets.  But that is SO close to here, regardless of Washington Street and I need to get into a daily habit of walking more so I'll just make my route come down here so I can see my neighbors on a casual basis still.  I can't remember if I wrote about the other night when I went out to get my cell phone from my car (I'm forgetful) at 11pm and saw my neighbor sitting outside enjoying a glass of wine and a cigar.  Some other neighbors were passing and stopped to talk so I joined and we stayed up until 12:30 just talking and enjoying the evening and each others company.  It was so nice.  But it can still happen, just not quite as happenstance-like, I guess.

But anyway, how this whole thing happened is quite the coincidence.  My friend Dara was looking for an apartment about 6 months ago and was telling me about the places she toured.  She mentioned that this one woman in particular had several properties up and down my street but the ones that she saw were a little small and oddly laid out because they were in old buildings and she guessed she was just looking for something a little more modern and updated so took a place in a newer building up by the metro (still in town....the buildings get progressively newer as you go from the waterfront to the metro).  I said "hey, sounds like my kind of lady...can you give me her info?  I have a bunch of friends who want to move to Old Town some day...also in case I ever need to move (I was thinking for financial, not dramatic reasons but still).  I've had her email address for months. 

I happened to remember, and emailed the woman pretty much as soon as all this happened.  I didn't hear from her so I figured that was a "no" but I decided to call anyway just to make sure.  She hadn't gotten my email and was glad to hear from me because her tenants in the property described above had just given notice the day before.  She showed me it that afternoon (Wednesday) and I was filling out the paperwork within the hour.   I didn't want to say anything on here just in case my application didn't go through or something (I don't know...this whole situation has made me really paranoid about maybe I AM an awful tenant that no one wants) but it did.  My dad has signed his part of the lease (I need a cosigner because I'm a student with negligible income these days, another reason this whole thing happened at the exact wrong point in my life) and I just have to sign mine and give her the deposit and then it is for real set and done.  But being told "it's official", and having the lease signed in some form, and discussing moving dates and all that I think is official enough to ward off the jinx monsters.

So hooray for me!

In terms of sharing, that will be worked out at a later date but there are several possibilities between friends, friends of friends and if none of that works out, maybe the interent.  I can certainly swing a few months alone, and make living alone work out long term if need be.  But again, if it's share-able I may as well go ahead and share it right?

Going into Radio Silence

So that whatever powers that be decide if an individual should be jinxed or not doesn't know to evaluate me for my jinx-worthiness.

This is all part of a larger story but I don't want the jinx hunters to hear me so shhhh.....

Some visuals

I took more video at the potential new apartment (midway through the application process, I very well may still change my mind) than photos but here--

The exterior doesn't look so bad, and it's not. It's just on a super-busy corner and is mainly surrounded not by similar houses but by 1980s replacements for buildings that had been torn down. Again, I'll live.

This is the only still photo I have of the interior:
Believe it or not, the carpet actually looked worse in the photos I saw. I also dislike the light fixture and the massive refrigerator, but not to the degree of the carpet. Luckily it's not plush, it's really like the kind you'd expect to find in an office building (I wonder if this building was ever used as office space? Something tells me "probably"). Anyway, that's lucky because I think that that means that Flor carpet tiles will cover it up nicely and am seriously considering doing so. The carpet in the other room is a whole other story though....anyway, I digress.

Here's the video of it. I didn't really plan the video so it's kind of a mess. First part is the busy street, second part is the room you see above, which is what you first walk into upon entering.

The third part (don't worry this thing is all of a minute long) begins in the back room, the doorway to which you see behind my friend Mariah as she jumps out of the camera's way. She jumps into the little hallway you see, which is where the bathroom lives as well as the locked door that is opened for move-ins. Then there's the staircase to nowhere (a locked door to the 3rd floor apartment, open for their move ins and outs only). That's what can be used as storage or whatever.

And finally, I think I'm going to start a little series on things I will miss about this place...here's my first few:

My views

my wee kitchen (and the strange wooden walls and the pop-up counter that was impossible to use). excuse the mess!

Sigh.

Only good thing is that I felt this way (but 100 times worse) when leaving the Northampton apartment and I never even developed those photos (yikes, dating myself) or ever watched the video I took. So maybe I won't care so much soon.

Update and Decisions

So I toured fugly. It honestly wasn't as brightcrazygreen as the online pictures suggested but it certainly wasn't pretty. Add a pretty nutty layout (nutty being completely relative in Old Town, of course) and the fact that the "everyday" stairs are so narrow that in order to move in or out you need to use the "real" staircase which conveniently runs right through everyone's apartments.

Confused?� You're not alone. Ok.� Picture an old townhouse mansion from way back in the day (think the old TV Show "Upstairs/Downstairs). Multiple floors, main staircase, back staircase for servants. The servants staircase IS the main staircase these days, as the building has been broken into apartments. The former main staircase is a part of everyone's apartment (some people use it as storage and things like that).� However, whenever anyone moves in or out, everyone below them has to open up their apartments as a pathway to get furniture into and out of their apartment.

Yeah.� *I* think it's a little nuts and I've lived in this town for years and have encountered more quirks and retrofits than you'd think existed.

So, that's actually doable for me, until you consider the fact that "the perfect" place could then turn around and open up 2 months later at which point....what do I do?� It's not so nice to move-in-move out once you're talking about tramping through someone else's apartment. Add to the fact that I just ran into my neighbors (the nice ones, not the jackasses who live in this building) who were sitting outside enjoying some wine and cigars and cheese and stuff and told them my predicament. Turns out they know pretty much everyone who owns a rental property for blocks, including one kittycorner from where I live now, and another a half-block up. They will talk to them, and keep an eye and ear out for me. This seems to increase my chances of finding a replacement in this neighborhood significantly.....so.....what to do?!

I think the real solution is to take "fugly" (it's honestly not that bad) for 12 months, honor those 12 months and THEN get the neighbors to keep an eye out for me.� Either that or find someplace that will rent to me on a month-to-month basis but those are (a) expensive (b) small (c) soul sucking and (d) it is possible that I'll wind up needing to live someplace for 12 months anyway, there are no guarantees that anything will open up in my price range in my neighborhood.

So, that's the plan (I think). I wonder how quickly the neighbors could hear from the rental-property owning neighbors?

Decisions stink.

Something(s) Positive

Good apartment news:
I have several leads lined up already, some better than others, and some more affordable than others.  I will likely wind up in what I am affectionately dubbing "fugly" but aside from the god-awful kelley green wall to wall carpeting (no kidding) it's actually pretty cute (fireplace, quaint kitchen, 200 year old building) and in (dare I say it) in arguably a better location than my current house is (that is an arguable point because how do you compare different types of perfection). 

It is probably money-saving (I have no way of knowing what they would have increased my rent to if they had renewed the lease but I'm thinking that it would have been to a higher sum than this potential new place) and the parking situation seems a whole lot less stressful (famous last words?).  There is outdoor space for planting things and for the parking of bicycles. 

It's on a busier street but that's alright by me.  I love my quiet street but busy I can live with.  I think there may even be a buzzer system in place so that I don't have to go down 4 flights of stairs to get a visitor or delivery after 6pm.  I won't have to go down (or up) 4 flights of stairs ever because it's on the 2nd floor.  There is no scary scary basement and as far as I can tell thus far (a peek through the mail slot), laundry is free :).  Kelley green carpeting can be covered up.  And if this is the “temporary” place until I find the “perfect” place (which I’m not counting out the possibility that this is it), the luck of the Irish is on my side.  Let's just hope I get the place!

In other news.....

I just got my class schedule for the fall straightened out and I think I picked some very awesome classes this term if I do say so myself (well, the one core course isn't "awesome" but it's cool that I'm getting those over and done with).

My schedule is as follows:

The History of the Book, which awesomely enough is taught at the Library of Congress so (a) shorter commute and (b) class, a cool class I want to take in my favorite library ever and my favorite place in DC with access to some pretty cool books, historical and otherwise.  I took a similar class as an undergrad to fulfill my art credit--"The Art and History of the Book" (Art History department counted enough).  Poor little political science major doesn't have an artistic bone in her body.  It was THAT class, actually, that planted the tiny seed that eventually grew into this total life/career overhaul.  So basically, I'm looking forward to this class.

Anyway, here's the description:
Historical overview of the impact of print in Europe and North America through studies of authorship, distribution, and use of manuscript, print, and electronic books. Addresses both physical aspects and social and cultural context of the production and circulation of books. May focus on a particular theme, geographic area, or time period.

Preservation woohoo!  get to be all dorkey and archivey and white glovey and probably get to deal with some Cool Stuff.  Also, now qualified (ish) for a darn cool graduate internship too!

Introduction to the preservation of library and archival collections, including the nature of book and paper materials and how they deteriorate, options for dealing with deteriorated and vulnerable items, and management approaches to preservation, including disaster preparedness, preventive maintenance, microfilming and computer image management.

Libraries and Information in Society (core course, don't get a choice in it...)
The role of library and information institutions and professionals in contemporary society. Topics include historic patterns and future trends; the application of ethical and professional standards in a changing information environment; copyright; societal issues affecting libraries and librarians; information access and funding issues.

And now I shall count my blessings, in no particular order

1.  I have a loving and supportive family who has my back emotionally always as well as financially throughout this whole debacle (I don't want to get into my personal finances on here but just let it be known that this is the exact wrong time of my life to be in need of a new apartment)
2.  I have a wide and caring group of friends who are on my side through thick and thin and who (more specifically to the past several days) are allowing me to be a total neurotic freak at them, sometimes for hours on end.  I'm so sorry guys, my brain is so broken.  I'll fix it soon!
3. I've lived in more (and often nicer) places and traveled to more places and generally had more amazing and unique life experiences than I should rightfully expect to have in a lifetime, and I'm not even 30 years old yet.
4. I have my health, which is so easy to take for granted when you're young and have it but it really is everything in this life.
5.  I still have my kitties!   My sweet little babies are moving with me!
6.  I am generally well-respected and liked.  I am, and am considered to be, a kind, honest and loyal individual (Irish temper and a small blogosphere mean streak aside ;)  ).  I don't care what people who have lived in the same building as me for months, or even years and who never took the time to get to know me think.  I know who I am and I know how I conduct myself, and those who really know me, know that as well.

I need to fix my perspective.  I can be (and am currently being) extremely self-centered, and I think that's part of what makes these bumps in the road so traumatic (that and a legitimate and documented mental difficulty in handling stress). I have taken and am taking serious time for self reflection and service to others in an attempt to better myself in this regard. This self-centered-ness is a general personality flaw of mine and has been for quite some time.  But specifically, to this instance of it rearing it's ugly head I must keep reminding myself:  if this is the worst thing that could happen to me, I am leading a charmed life indeed.

I hope my being so candid isn't weird or whatever.  This blog is as much about sharing my life and having a bit of an outlet as it is about self reflection and accountability. I'm just being real.

Here's What Happened

This whole non-renewal thing IS because of Mr. #1 and his wife who doesn't like Old Town and wants a bigger bathroom smelling "my" phantom cigarette smoke and using it to break their way expensive lease, resulting in the loss of thousands of dollars for the landlord who is angry and is blaming most of the thing on me (also on Patti, the receptionist in the office downstairs, but I'm the easiest scapegoat as my lease is up now).  I never once smoked in here after the (illegal, and against my own lease) smoking ban and hadn't smoked at all period end of sentence for months before Mr. #1's dramatic exit.  The property manager doesn't believe me and according to her "even if she did believe me, a decision has been made and they're going to have to go through with it".  My fingers are still itching to type the names of all involved but....no.

Again, I am NOT being evicted.  They can't evict for smoking unless it's in the lease that you can't smoke.  They are simply not renewing my option to lease which they can do whenever the lease terms are up, for any reason or no reason--they want storage, they don't feel like paying for utilities, they need an apartment for their college kid, whatever.  This is not legally a mark against me and I actually think the property manager is on my side in spirit, if not in practice.  When I asked, she remained open (ish) to the idea of renting to me in another property in the future if circumstances are right.  Whether or not I want to deal with these people again is another question for another day but at least the door hasn't been slammed in my face.

Here's the play by play, for about the past 18 months:

1. Everyone's lease says smoking is allowed
2. I smoked in building
3. People (mainly Mr. #1 but probably others) complained about smoke, primarily (I assume) Patti's mainly because she's there more hours of the day and smokes far and away more than I ever did.
4. Everyone gets note saying it's now a non smoking building (actually not legal in this state, and in violation of my lease but who's going to pitch a fit and insist on poisoning themselves while pissing everyone off? Not me).
5. I immediately stopped smoking in building, Mr. #1 and his wife see me outside, off the property smoking now and then.
6. Mr. #1 still complains about cigarette smoke that's coming from god-knows-where
7. I quit smoking entirely
8. Mr. #1 still complains about cigarette smoke that's coming from god-knows-where
9. I suspect that Patti may still be sneaking cigarettes in the office
10. Mr. #1 breaks lease and moves out in a huff, taking down the no-smoking signs with him as if to say "now that I'm gone you can all continue your sinning"
11. Life is good for a good long time, no one is smoking in the building at all
12. I get my lease not renewed because of the smoking issue and the loss of Mr. #1, even though I personally think I had little to do with it and even if I had everything to do with it, it was entirely preventable by landlords passing ban earlier.

Basically, I'm being punished for something I didn't do, and that possibly someone else did (Patti) or more possibly something that someone made up to get out of their lease because their wife didn't like Old Town and wanted a bigger bathroom (Mr. #1).  It's not like making me leave is going to bring him back and now that no one in the building smokes, this won't be an issue again.  Or, well that's what a rational person would figure.

What really gets me is that if people were bothered by the smoke enough to complain enough to have an all-out smoking ban....why didn't they complain to me or any of the other smokers in the house first? (Patti and I just happen to be the only current or former smokers living/working here now but we've had lots)?  Or if it was SUCH an issue to play around with something as serious as lease renewals, why not pass on the complaints before the ban?  Or see how behavior changes after a ban?  Or maybe, possibly, believe someone when they tell you they've quit smoking and Mr. #1 was playing games with them?

Why, if you can't stand cigarette smoke to the degree to complain with such frequency as to get someone kicked out, sign up to live in a building that not only allows smoking but which positively reeked of smoke when you came to take your tour (again with Patti smoking like a chimney during business hours)?  And again, why can't people solve their own problems without getting "the man in charge" involved all the time?  (This is the same man who threatened to sue the owner of the business on the ground floor if Patti continued to smoke in there). A simple note or comment would have sufficed for me.  Had I known it was bothering anyone I'd have stopped instantly, just as I did when they instituted the ban.  Sure, some people would have just blown smoke in his face and said "read the lease buddy" but not me.  I, unlike some other current and recent tenants of this house, treat others as I would like to be treated and that does not include lobbying for their removal from the house and does include dealing with problems with them face to face instead of behind their back. 

This Might Not Be So Bad

Or, that could be the Xanax talking.  And yes, I take Xanax on occasion, I have yet to meet a medical professional (mental health related or otherwise) who doesn't push me onto Valium, Adivan, Klonopin or Xanax at some time or another.  I can be kind of a mess.  Luckily, as opposed to a few years ago, my freakout times are so few and far between that most people have no idea I have any issues whatsoever.  I really only get like this when I have the rug totally pulled out from under me with no warning and with uncertain consequences.  Kind of like what my landlord just did to me, a model tenant of three years.  Bastards.

But anyway.  Yes, I am emotionally attached to this apartment to not only a ridiculous but also a completely insane degree.  There are many reasons why but basically it boils down to the fact that when I moved here I had to completely reinvent myself and my life (my previous self and live having imploded due to a failed long term, live-in relationship and the resulting loss of every single friend I had in a 100 mile radius).  This town and this apartment were a huge part of that self-reinvention, and now I'm a much better, happier, more active and interesting and just kind of better all around person....I'm just more ME not "Arlington Me".  I don't know how else to explain it...I just feel like this place is me, and I am it (to a degree).  Moving out of here...I may as well remove a piece of my soul, or leave Penny (my cat) behind.

But this place has also, because of this insane attachment, kind of held me back.  I would have gone to the University of Washington for grad school in a heartbeat (Washington State that is....great library program) but I didn't want to lose the apartment.  My friends and family I can keep as long-distance relationships, and come back to them once I finished school....but the apartment would have been gone for good.  Now, I don't know if I was just using it as an excuse....cross country moves are quite intimidating even for those who want nothing more than to live in those new cities and who (generally) handle new places really well.   Regardless, that was the thought process.  (Wow, I'm really putting my neurosis on display here, huh?).

But now, it will be gone and I had nothing to do with the decision.  It was made for me.  It's a bit late for the University of Washington (I think....I will check though) but maybe it's good to not be too tied down.  I never wanted to live here, or anywhere really, for this long, never wanted to be tied town so this place and all its blessings (contentment, settlement etc) were also kind of its curses (tying me down).

I still get emotional when I look at my window seat and my kitchen (I love that cute little kitchen and I know wherever I wind up will probably be some granite/stainless steel/maple cabinet pukefest) and I honestly cried yesterday when I went by my favorite tree (my favorite bush has been destroyed...see earlier entry) but that's life.  I even think I'm going to miss scary scary basement.  Amazing.  And I've only ever been down there... I don't know 5 or 6 times?

I'm going to (finally) talk to the property manager tomorrow and see what on earth is going on.  I HOPE it's not anything I did or failed to do.  I can't even imagine what that would be, unless it's some shit the guy on the first floor made up to get out of his lease, or because he was stark raving mad and was imagining phantom cigarette smoke or somesuch nonsense.  Ohh, I am SOOOO wishing I could post his name here and then Google bomb it so it comes up along with his business but I won't.  I'm not quite that crazy. 

Anyway, if it's not personal, if it's something beyond my control, I'm going to see if they'll put me on a wait list for a building they've got down the street (right by my favorite tree).  Crazy?  Maybe.  But I love my neighborhood even more than my apartment and I don't want to move too far for too long.

But please, send good apartment vibes along!  As much as this might not be "so bad" (it's actually terrible and I'd rather lose my left hand than move out of here), I do want to find a decent replacement ASAP.

Crisis

So remember how I love my apartment to a ridiculous degree?  How it's part of my niche that got me settled and happy in this otherwise godforsaken hellhole of an urban area?  How I'd buy it if I could?

Well, they've decided to not renew my lease, reasons unstated and unknown.  I have a few theories, mainly financial but also involving the former Bad Neighbors who....just long story....I think they complained about me (for things I wasn't doing) and used those complaints as their reason from breaking their long-term, high-cost lease and now this is my punishment for losing those tenants for the landlord. I don't know.  I have never received any complaint in any form whatsoever (verbal or written, from landlord or tenant) so maybe it IS all financial (they can get much much more for this place than I'm paying and I'm pretty sure they know it).  

Arg.  I just don't know for sure, I don't have anyone to talk to about it because it's the weekend, I doubt I can change their minds and even if I could I don't want to live walking on eggshells knowing that I'm on borrowed time.

It feels like I got dumped, but worse.  Like, honestly worse than any break up, big or small, I've ever had. I'm not sure what that says of the quality of individual I've dated, or my emotional involvement in those relationships, or my level of emotional stability in general but there you have it.

But what can I do?  I'll try to see if I can reverse the decision, or at least get myself some more time (they only gave me 30 days), and try to find a replacement apartment.  I'll take pictures of this place and try to not be sad.  I'll get a few realtors and put a lot of time into it.  I'll even move back into the fucking Meridian (the one by the King Street Metro, not Courthouse) for a short term stay and just bide my time until the next perfect apartment comes along.  I just hope I don't get sour grapes about this place.....these have been the three happiest years of my life and I don't want to paint them any other way--loss of a perfect apartment or not.

So, if anyone knows any quaint, cozy apartment-in-the-eves in the SE quadrant of Old Town, please, please let me know.  I'll love it like my own :)