This is:
On the off chance the badly broken 5th metatarsal isn't readily observed, I've gone ahead and circled it here:
The funny thing is that it really doesn't hurt much. Or didn't hurt much at least. Now it's starting to smart.
I broke it dragging some teak patio furniture home from a yard sale two blocks from my house. It was the end of the sale and they'd just left the furniture out there free for the taking. (Incidentally, this is a prime example of why living in Old Town rocks--the castaways are usually superb). I couldn't fit the chairs in my car (the table disassembled easily) so I was walking up Alfred Street with them, one slung over each shoulder and hit a part of the sidewalk that was sloped for a driveway (ironically, this Old Town sidewalk accident had nothing to do with Uneven Bricks of Death) see?:
Well, maybe you can't see. But once you step off the brick sidewalk and onto the cement part that crosses that alley/driveway, it's very sloped. Not so good for someone who is (a) clumsy as hell (b) not looking where she's going due to the obstruction from two large patio chairs (c) is wearing shoes that are too large (the shoe falling off and twisting my foot around with it is likely what caused the break) (d) has bad feet to begin with. So my foot twisted out to the side, my shoe twisting (somehow) the opposite direction, causing a large degree of pressure on a stressed-out bone and ::POP::.
Most people who have broken a bone know that unmistakable sound. Not too unlike celery snapping. Absolutely instantly I was overcome with the feelings of "about to faint" and "about to vomit". I knew exactly what had happened, but hoped it wasn't true. I really wanted it to be a jammed or maybe broken pinky toe. So I continued my trek home with the chairs. Here's how I went (green dot is starting point, red x falling point, orange dot home--I was cutting through the alley/parking area behind the house to get to my back yard):
I briefly considered going to the hospital but it really didn't hurt all that much and I know far better than go to an ER on a sunny Saturday late afternoon/early evening. So I went to my friend Mariah's bachelorette type gathering (she didn't want to label it such, and didn't want the accompanying "Girls Gone Wild" style partying and penis jokes). I iced my foot while hanging out for the sangria/ hors d'oeuvres portion of the evening then just hobbled around a bit for the piano bar portion (I have to remember to update about how Rebecca and I, when going out for "a quick bite" at the bistro around the corner, discovered that Saturday nights in their upstairs bar is piano night--all the show tunes singalong a body can handle!).
After the party (at which I self medicated the foot with gin--a time honored tradition I'm sure), everyone came back to my house briefly to (a) help me get my car home (I couldn't walk to get to where it was parked by that point of the evening) (b) use my bathroom (c) see the new lawn furniture. Somewhere in the shuffle, the back door was left open. I didn't realize this until after everyone was gone, and I put out food for the cats and Penny did not come running. Odd. So I started looking for her, as I do quite frequently when I'm convinced she's managed to vanish into thin air. This time, though, I didn't find her. So I headed outside, calling Rebecca to ask her to return and aid in the search. As SOON as I started talking on the phone, I heard a very pathetic meow coming from somewhere outside. A few more meows in response to "Penny?" later, and I realized that the cat had made it to the third floor's fire escape. I have never seen that cat looking so helpless and as soon and I had her securely in my arms (I was worried that she was so scared that she'd run from me, and I would not have been able to give chase) she latched onto me like velcro.
So here's me: broken foot, pajamas (and if you've ever seen my PJs, that only adds to the comedic value), fairly liquored up, climbing down a fire escape with a frightened cat attached to my body, and a cell phone in my mouth. At 2:30 am. Incidentally, she hasn't been more than 5 feet away from me since her little adventure, but she also seems HIGHLY interested in the back door, which is worrisome.
Next day, I went to an urgent care facility. The doctor was completely unconvinced that it was broken, based on the history I'd given her (suppose she's never seen this type of foot break?) and based on the fact that I was so calm and in good spirits, and in very little pain. Strangely, the urgent care facility has an x-ray but no means to treat breaks. (I think? It was very odd), and so sent me on my way with nothing more than an ace bandage and instructions to either go to an ER immediately or see an orthopedist on Monday. I went to the ER and good thing, too. They were SHOCKED that the urgent care place let me out of there without a splint and allowing me to weight bear on the foot. Now, it didn't hurt (much, to me at least) to weight bear on the foot but apparently for this type of break that is a bad bad idea because it can get displaced and that's a whole other set of problems. I now have a splint, a walker (I'm NO good on crutches it turns out) and instructions to see an orthopedist to get a cast later this week.
This, by the way, is the first and last time I'll be using that particular urgent care facility. It's supposed to be faster than an ER and be able to provide the same services for minor injuries. Wrong on both counts. When I went to the ER (at Sibley), I was immediately taken into what is basically Sibley's version of an urgent care clinic--completely separate from the "actual" ER where my mother was. This is the place that those of us with small injuries, and "OMG do I have Swine Flu" get directed to be treated by a PA, with an MD signing off on treatment. Or at least I think that's what it was. I didn't really care. There were white coats involved and a metatarsal break isn't the most complicated of injuries t stabilize. Total time at urgent care: 5 hours. Total time at Sibley: 3 hours, half of that waiting for them to scrounge up some crutches (they'd run out), which I eventually couldn't use. (Now to be fair, I arrived at Sibley with my x-rays in hand so that saved them some time, but STILL).
So here's how it's going to be:
I lost two days of work on finals to this thing
I will be (if I can even make it now) in a cast for my HS reunion
I will also be in a cast for the following:
my birthday
my sister's graduation
my friends' wedding
my week-long Federal Libraries class which is nothing but field trips involving a lot of walking
I anticipate lots of trouble hiking to and from the metro/my office building
I'm not allowed to ride my bike for the next 4-6 weeks
I won't be able to swim for the next 4-6 weeks, which is just great because I'll actually have TIME to swim in the next 4-6 weeks.
Boo :(

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